I thought I knew people. I thought I read their faces. Well, I still do. But have experienced the other kind of them. It's two-faced people who shows or changes their face when you have been doing with them well for a long time... When you thought you knew them so good...
After that realisation I felt amazed, surprised and confused. I couldn't believe I had two close friends and then they just.. They turned against me.. I felt weak because I couldn't read them anymore, they've left another mystery for me to handle, another shitty secret alone but that quest was too easy for me. I've already known the answer. FAGGOTS.
That boredom.. Boredom again.. I have no interest in living. I think that the time I spend everyday has to be useful, entertaining and interesting. But when I come back home, another website is opened, another song is listened to clean my soul a bit and then again.. NOTHING. When people ask me like 'sup?' I can definitelly say 'nothing much' without telling any lie. Becouse nothing is ever UP here. I try to educate myself in subjects I like a lot but I know that books and other stuff like education destroys human's creativity power. I can't say I'm very creative. But I feel that something inside me wants to get out and longer I wait faster it goes to the level of bursting. I feel like my arms, legs and mouth are in jail, like I have to do things that everyone does just to guarantee (tried to make this word look very sarcastic) my place in society. Reading something that other people have written.. It's like wtf for me. I like it my way. I like to think, argue with myself without reading their thoughts, their opinions especially when I don't agree with them. That way society put themselves in fucking plastic frames which can be melted with any other opinion and can be changed so easily in that way.. Moreover, people don't think they're in frames, they think they're educated, fucking smart asses. But sorry, mates, smart asses were/are authors and philosophers who wrote stuff and they thought they were right. And they are right becouse they thought like that. I'd better do my things than absorb other's. I create but not building myself from other's ideologies.
Crapp I forgot what I wanted to say. Wait, I don't even know what I want to say. I just feel and that feeling cannot be expressed in any language (so it's not becouse of my english skills, don't worry).
