Lost here forever

Wasting time for my own sake is awesome. Feeling that carelessness and amazingness all around me.. Friends, spare time, perfect weather, music, beer and cigarettes makes a piece of paradise.

But the days when I'm lacking one of them.. Well, we can despite cigarettes becouse they're not the thing that I can't live without. Nor beer is. They just bring me some comfort. 

And I live in tomorrow. Yesterday I thought that tomorrow was the first day of summer, bet appearently it's just tomorrow, the day after another looking from yesterday. 

I don't wanna be lost here forever. And I told to myself that I wouldn't. I won't find any difficulties in leaving this place.
I need summer.. I need news from Norway.. I can't live in this lack of good news forever. Becouse here's enough of bad news. I don't think that God and fate can make fun of me that much. Or do they? I can't give up, I can change their decisions, but when I'm not an adult, I feel so weak.. And why people think that teens from 16 to 17 years old are so far from majority? It shows that they're looking not at a person, but the fucking law and god damned system. And they make us to obey.
And I want a bass guitar. So bad. I need this. Or accustic guitar first. But no, I don't want to be like these 'attractive' ones with no life nor society but guitar. I want to express myself as many ways as possible. I even started to draw, but not the things that I see in my imagination. I'm copying. But that isn't bad, I'm just getting skills.
And I forgot to say something. Yeah, a thing that really makes me free from everything (like I wasn't before :D). It's school. IT'S COMPLETELY DONE! I have only 1 year left on this thing. But this one year is going to be the best I could have ever had. That's it. Hello, Cleveland!

And along comes Mary.. mary, mary...

Hello. Goodbye. What is between them? Hellye?

That waiting, that solicitude.. Cmoon, does it need to take that long? Why..? What is happening? 
But ok. I'm getting full of patience. I'm becoming patient, yes. 
Hm.. What di I do when I wait? I do all the stuff that I had planned times ago. Here I am..

The storm was chasing and I was on a trip. It was quite wet but interesting. Not becouse of object we visited, but stuff that was happening in my head. First, I had a camera. Second, We were traveling ( I love traveling. You know.). Imagination - that was the third. Yeah, we were traveling over our country, but I was somewhere else. I was far away actually. Music and picture taking took me there, somewhere. Oh, the power of imaginaton and music.. It is so strong that I can't even. And a thing that I didn't like about the trip was people that I was traveling with. Oh well... I'd rather travel in my minds.

Save me, save me, 

From the darkest thoughts in my head

Hold me, hold me, 

Till everyone's on this Earth is dead..

Covered by blood snow is melting again

And my heart is again pierced with pain.

So me at the moment..

Die alone, die alone.. Feel no pain, becouse agony before death is too mainstream. Or simply no one will find me in my world, no one will show any interest of my surroundings, no one will ever dream about me. Heh.. I used to be the wrong persons all my time, but some people liked me. But I haven't feel myself at all. Now I do. A little, but I do. And then.. I became the most successful woman in the world. Successful.. Yes... Sure... Successful... I don't even know what success mean! So hopeless person.. Well. I have to survive. And wait for someone/something. When that something seems like that miracle, it goes somewhere else, far away from me. Cmon, feel free to run away.